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One of the best things you can do for yourself is get into a routine. I do this thing at this time on these days. Taking the thinking out of tasks you need or want to perform makes them so much easier. It’s not a matter of do I want to do this thing, it’s on this day I do this whether I want to or not. Obviously, you need to give yourself grace for extenuating circumstances (sickness, work running over) but I’m tired, I don’t feel like it, I’ll do it tomorrow, doesn’t exist in routine. These things get done with almost no regard for anything else, and that is how you begin to move forward. Routine by definition will create incremental progress and that’s a very good thing for a grappler.
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Sometimes I run into people that seem to believe that grappling won’t be difficult, and I don’t necessarily understand where that comes from. Sports are difficult always, golf is difficult, pickleball is difficult, why would Jiu Jitsu not be difficult? You are literally in combat with another human being. Jiu Jitsu has more in common with rugby than it does with a lot of martial arts taught in the west. At a competitive level submissions come fast, takedowns are hard, and people are mean. It’s is no different in defending yourself. Whatever you are preparing for, the aim is victory and victory in combat is violent. That is reality.
What does hitting someone with a belt or paddle when they get a belt have to do with Jiu Jitsu? Absolutely nothing in my opinion. That’s weird, we already beat each other up and get in each other’s business, how did that become a thing? I’m fortunate that I never came up in a gym that did the gauntlet or any other form of corporal punishment rituals, but we keep seeing abuse of power stories come out and this kind of stuff isn’t helping. There’s a massive difference between doing things that have a root in tradition which are harmless (tying your belt away from people, bowing on and off the mats, etc…) and doing things that have no value while promoting dysfunctional behavior patterns and hierarchies. There’s no reason anyone should be publicly spanked or flogged in a martial arts setting anymore. Stop being weird.
Getting beat up in grappling is good for you. If I go back to Pallaton I really only roll with upper level people. If I go to Bronx Martial Arts Academy I say “I’m here to get beat up”. When I trained in Brazil, I didn’t take any rounds off over two classes. If the opportunity presents itself, I will always roll with anyone I take a seminar from. I benefit from getting beat up and I always have. It’s why I have sought out rolls with Dusty and Harold, both black belts that tend to outweigh me by quite a bit. It benefits you to challenge yourself, it benefits you to get beat up, and it benefits you to fail. You should roll with people at your level and below, but also cherish when you get to train with someone way above you. It may not seem like it, but that’s more of a privilege and compliment than you know.
Are you making an honest assessment of your efforts? Most of the time I am not, I am not saying that I don’t put in a lot of effort or work, but it is possible for me to do more. With that, there is a tradeoff, I have made it to the point where my work suffers because I stretch myself too thin, I have gotten to the point of being too angry to function at my best, I’ve overworked myself to the point of injury and illness, and I’ve alienated people by being on this journey. If you want to achieve anything, sacrifice is necessary. What you sacrifice is up to you, but it is necessary to be honest with yourself and the people around you about the lengths you’re willing to go and whether you are going that far to achieve them. Everyone has the capacity to accomplish what they set out to achieve, but putting in the work is not the same as setting the goal. Whatever you want in life, are you putting yourself in the position to get there?
If you want to be proficient at something you will have to give a lot to whatever that is in order to take from it, and it will take from you in order to give back. This is true of all things education, work, family, hobbies, etc. In any endeavor you choose the question will always be is the juice worth the squeeze? In the case of Jiu Jitsu, you sacrifice your time and body to most likely be mediocre at it. I believe it’s been worth it so far, but not everyone does. It really doesn’t matter what you prioritize in life, you just have to know that something else has to fall so your priority can rise. That’s why we all have to choose our priorities wisely, and hopefully put at the top of our list something that benefits not only ourselves but others as well.
The other side of uncomfortable is where change happens. Emotionally, physically, or whatever else change can be almost painful. Eating in a calorie deficit to lose weight isn't all that fun. Exercising to gain muscle can be terrible. Going to therapy is bleeping hard. All of those things will help you become the person you want to be. Like jiu jitsu if you want to improve something you're going to have to get beat up. My whole life at this point seems to be an exercise in behavior activation and forming good habits. Setting myself into a routine, prioritizing my tasks, getting enough water, eating a specific way, consuming media that doesn't obliterate my mental state, it just doesn't end especially as you get older. You just keep doing it though, you keep putting yourself into situations that make you uncomfortable so that you can improve some facet of your life. You keep starting in side control because you know that the harder it is for someone to hold you down now, the better your jiu jitsu will be. What will you do today that is on the other side of uncomfortable?
There’s a famous Gracie quote that says “ a belt only covers two inches of your ass, you have to cover the rest”. If you’re my student, that’s what we are trying to achieve. The goal is always going to be how hard can I make the life of the person across from me? At the end of the day there is an immense gap in what constitutes the different belts across gyms, so if you get promoted that means I’m fairly confident you can make a person of that belt levels day really hard, it means I think if someone picks a fight with you they will regret it. Nobody cares if you have a black belt in Jiu Jitsu…trust me. So imagine how little they care about the belts leading up to it. I know that my black belt really only means anything to me, because it’s a recognition of perseverance and dedication. I also know that I would likely get whooped if I entered any major IBJJF tournament at blue belt. That’s the weird thing though, I know I am a Jiu Jitsu black belt and I also know that it only means something to me. It doesn’t matter in the micro world that is grappling and it doesn’t matter in the macro of everything else. I can only focus on improvement, any recognition that comes is inconsequential. Becoming a black belt was such a long term goal, and then it was a fleeting moment. I legitimately forget about it, even though I put it on in some form nearly everyday. The point is just enjoy grappling for the sake of grappling, because the belt only holds the meaning you personally assign to it.
The traditional method of teaching and learning Jiu Jitsu was always giving people fish. It is the way I learned Jiu Jitsu and the way I taught Jiu Jitsu for a long time. What’s nice about that method is it gives you the illusion that you’re learning something. However, actually implementing any of it is nearly impossible, so did you actually learn it? The recommendation is always that you try and do the techniques from the day when you get to live rolls. Two issues, you have to get to the position you were just working on and it’s fresh in the mind of all your rolling partners. That is defeating. Instead, it would make more sense to place yourself in an environment of open communication that forces you to think for yourself. When I was a late stage blue belt there was a split in the gym and many of the coaches I had opened up another school. I was young and it was closer to my house, so I stuck around at the place I began training. Slowly I began taking on more and more responsibility to the point of teaching myself and also many of the Jiu Jitsu classes across the two locations. I was in no way qualified for any of that, but in retrospect it was really beneficial for me. I learned how to learn Jiu Jitsu. I can watch videos and learn techniques from books, I can apply concepts broadly across many facets of grappling, because I was forced to learn to fish. Ecological Dynamics is difficult in the beginning, because you have to learn to learn. You have to think and remember, but you only need a base understanding of what you need to do. If you can understand what you need to pay attention to in order to accomplish your intentions, then how you get there does not really matter. I am simply here to offer the guidance of two decades of beatings, not stifle your natural inclinations or turn you into a Chuva Robot 2.0.
There are no friends like Jiu Jitsu friends. That bond is different. If you have held someone’s ability to continue with their daily tasks in your control and time after time not ruined them, there’s a level of trust that nothing else can build. I have friends from other things I’ve done and other facets of my life, but it’s not the same. I’m not going to say that everyone I’ve ever trained with is my best friend, but we have a bond that I suppose is primal. There is respect, and an understanding, we have shared experiences, a collective narrative, and we’ve been forged by the same fire. There are people who saw me become a person, who saw why I am the way I am, there are people who are like me. Jiu Jitsu friends may not be your best friends, but especially for people like me, it’s an unconditional friendship which I think more people need.
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AuthorThis is the blog page of Chuva BJJ. It's where you will find information that seems pertinent to the academy. Archives
December 2024
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